Reade Saunders

  • The absent witness

    There is always a chair left empty in the Family Court. It is never marked. No one gestures toward it. Yet everyone knows who it belongs to. The child is invoked constantly and present never. Their interests are weighed, balanced, assessed, protected, but their voice does not interrupt the room. It is this absence that…

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  • Flatter the watcher

    Flatter the watcher

    Eyes tracking movement. Interest that tightens when someone begins to rise. People call this admiration because it flatters them to do so. It sounds clean. But it is not neutral. He learned early that attention had conditions. That it was most reliable when something was at stake. When stillness failed to summon response but intensity…

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  • It was not a crash

    It was not a crash

    A crash implied violence, panic, an ending. This was an arrival, an unscheduled landing, an argument with physics that had concluded in a draw. The aircraft had stopped in a field with its dignity compromised, yes, but the pilot had walked away with his. He could live with that. From the outside, it looked worse.…

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  • Sacrificial territory

    Sacrificial territory

    The true double bind is not merely a clash of obligations. It is a collision between incompatible moral worlds, each claiming total legitimacy. What makes it intolerable is not that you cannot satisfy all parties, but that whichever path you take will retroactively redefine you as immoral in someone else’s story. You are not allowed…

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  • Office doors

    Office doors

    There is a particular species of man one encounters in failing organisations. Not the usurper. Not the saboteur. Not the visionary who sees flames as an opportunity for rebirth. No. This man is humbler, softer, and altogether more revealing. He is the one found in doorways. Neither fully in the room nor fully out of…

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  • Ghost Mother (iv)

    Ghost Mother (iv)

    I remember the birth because it was winter. I remember the smell of disinfectant, and Peter’s hands, warm and steady, holding mine. I remember feeling nothing and thinking that must be what peace was. They said she was small, fragile. He called her perfect. I told myself I’d given him a gift. I said it…

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  • On Villains and Heroes

    On Villains and Heroes

    The story written is not the only story that could be told. The same circumstances – the same childhood, the same betrayal, the same courtroom silence – can be narrated as the making of a monster or the tempering of a saint. Events are fixed; meaning is not. This is what Jung understood when he…

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  • Making the Man

    Making the Man

    There was a time when the phrase “a good man” carried moral weight. It did not mean a harmless man, nor a man subdued by guilt or fashion, but a man who had learned to master his own capacity for destruction. A good man was dangerous, disciplined, and devoted. He could protect without posturing, and…

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  • Lethe’s daughter

    Lethe’s daughter

    She was born beneath a silence, her first breath woven through with forgetting. They pressed a story into her skin, but the ink dissolved before it dried. She drank Lethe in her mother’s arms, unwitting, unknowing, learning the taste of absence as nourishment. Her lullabies were pauses, her cradle padded with omissions. Two fathers circled…

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  • Ghost Mother (iii)

    Ghost Mother (iii)

    I call them the good years. I have always called them that. Beaming as though your brightness were my achievement. Perhaps it was. I left too many silences in my wake, so you filled them with pride on my behalf. It was easier that way. D had remarried. She hated me, her eyes narrowed whenever…

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